just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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