I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
