fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
