I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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