She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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