hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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