Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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