I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
