I want to walk on stilts...naked
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
