At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
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We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My life is pants optional.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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