The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize