I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
