I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
