Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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