dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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