Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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