Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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