It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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