I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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