he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
