do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
