Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
false alarm, still single
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
