No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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