I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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