I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
