you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
