you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
