I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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