i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
