is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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