HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
