Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
