Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize