I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
