Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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