No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
