I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
