HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
