so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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