I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
