hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
