I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
