**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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