he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
