he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you win again, gameday.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
