I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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