Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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