There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
