dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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