I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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