I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
