I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my liver is dry heaving
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
