So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
