Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
