Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize