All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
