I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
