i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
