Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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