i love accidental penises.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
