Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dignity is for republicans.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
