my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
