As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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