I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
