i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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