Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
