he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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