did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
oh god was she eating orange peels again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
